Not-so-Chef’s Blog: How To Fry An Egg?


If you are really looking for the right recipe then you are on the wrong page. No, really! We do not really care about the things that we cook. We just cook and do not think about it all day and night. Seriously! You will not find here the so-and-so milliliters of oil or so-and-so Celsius of heat to fry an egg. There is clearly no information regarding the egg’s parents i.e. if they are from Duck family or Hen family or some Ducko-Hen or Heno-Duck, we do not care. We just crack them and fry. For all those food lovers out there, we know it is difficult to believe. So, for that missing professional touch we wrote a letter to Mr. Chef who was someone, we heard, loved to cook. What we did not know was when they said ” love ” they really meant love. This is what he wrote us back.

Mr. Chef’s Reply To our Letter:
Thank you so much for providing me the opportunity to write for your blog which do {not} have {more than} 10 followers (was that really appreciation?) It seems that you really want me send the recipe.
Here it is.
It does look so, but it is not easy to fry an egg. I am writing to you an step by step guide here,, with bits of relevant information.

1. Selecting the right egg.
Open your fridge and look for the right egg. Close your fridge and think. Yes, it is really a very critical decision to make here. Do you want to fry a hen’s egg or duck’s or tortoise/turtle. If you choose pigeon’s than you will have to fry a few of them to get a satisfying portion. I thought for about 3 hours and decided to cook hen’s egg for the following reasons.
i) It is not so big.
ii) It is not so small either.
iii) I prefer it on the other eggs.
iv) I find it in my backyard almost daily. Yes, the neighbour’s hen is so generous.
v) I love to look for free eggs in my backyard and I enjoy this quick-rewarding work-out in the mornings.
vi) They are easy to find all over the world so, for your “international” readers Ha! ( Blog’s admin is offended here) I am picking up hen’s egg.

2. Now you are facing another decision; Oil selection:
I have sunflower oil, 3 types of oilve oil; oh yes from extra virgin to married-thrice, canola oil, mustard oil, and many brands of each of them. After researching on the internet and thinking it over and over, I picked up the common vegetable oil to make it easy for your world-wide readers.

3. Choosing the right salt:
You will need it after frying the egg, but you have to make this decision before frying the egg because when cool down fried eggs do not taste good. You CANNOT use bath salts here. So, go for table-salt. You can use rock-salt too, but purified salt is pereferred. Salt selection needs a day for beginners. Spend a day in grocery/utility store and read all the printed info on different brand of salt-packet. Select the most nutricious salt. Come back home and relax.

4. Pepper Choice:
You may use red, white or black pepper. I am using black pepper.

So you will need,
INGREDIENTS:
1. An egg
2. Oil
3. Salt
4. Pepper

METHOD:
1. Wake up early in the morning….
blah blah blah

Sorry Readers!
We do not have courage to read all the letter and our typist’s has resigned after writing 2 paragraphs. We did not have our breakfast yet so we are signing off. If you still want the recipe then here it is.

Heat oil. Crack an egg. Cook for 15 seconds. Sprinkle salt and pepper.
Enjoy!
See ya!

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