No Feast for Bad Memories

Nile is a writer. He does not sell his thoughts. And no one buys them. He is a mason by profession. Today the writer in him is starving of thoughts. All he has are a few ripples of unclear and incomplete ideas in his stagnant mind. He is trapped. Trapped in his past. He dreamt of his abusive step-mother last night and he is still unable to connect to the real world. She has died, but she is still alive in him in the form of a haunting memory and still visits him when least expected.
Yesterday, he was sitting in the hospital waiting for his daughter-in-law to come out of the labor room with a huge good news by her side in the form of little newly born life. His son, Adam, was there. Happy and anxious. He was seeing his old days in his son. When his wife was pregnant and the biggest day of their lives came, he was feeling the same as his son is feeling now. After the time which seemed like ages, the nurse came out and deliver the good news. He was now grandpa of a fragile cute baby girl. He was happy, very happy.
And today, he woke up with heavy heart, frightened and weak. He wants to run to a place where these memories cannot come to haunt him. He is feeble. He thinks of his grand daughter. He promised his son and daughter-in-law to visit them today, but he is here, feeling paralyzed. But as a final trial he makes a decision. He makes a decision not to think about his step-mother for even for a fraction of a second. He goes into the bedroom, takes out his finest cloth and starts getting ready to leave. After an hour he is ready to leave. He steps outside the house.
As the last key opens the lock, his decision of not feeding his bad memories set him free of misery. He is powerful now because he has decided not to feed his energy to these memories.



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