So it is what it is! Losing a loving parent when the other is abusive brings a turmoil. You live everyday running from yourself and trying to escape reality. No help arrives. No healing magic occurs. You just do not want to think about healing and move on with life apparently. Then a day comes when all is shattered again. The string around your neck pulls you back and you cannot run now. This is the time when you need to shed tears. You feel helpless. This is the time when you meet yourself.
For me, this is the time… I am sitting here in this small room cluttered with everything that can be here. And this is the time. Tears are filling up in my eyes, making the screen look blurred. I am feeling like something is stuck in my throat. My eyes are burning. My breathe is… Well, when I woke up the dream somehow made its way to the reality. I met my beloved mother. I know she is free now and doing what a free soul would do after escaping the prison of life.
Dreams are metaphors, maybe. When they repeat your past, you experience everything again. That is why I am tired. My soul is falling down the spiral again and I am waiting for a light to shine so that I can find the way back up. It is the time when I wait for the shepherd. I know, he will arrive. When? I don’t know. But he arrives when I least expect him. Maybe, he is on his way.
I wish everyone who is going through bad times or some kind of stress disorders to be healed. May God heal us. Amen. I may not supposed to be posting a prayer that appears so simple, here. But I did this. I do not want anyone to feel what I am feeling right now. It is a reminder for those who see this post. Please, pray for all the struggling souls. That’s how you can contribute to bring the blessings to earth. Thank you.