I am eating leftover rice in lunch with tomato and lettuce as salad. The sun is so angry today that my skin is burning even in shade. So, I am eating leftovers because I cannot step in kitchen to face the stove and I am really hungry. Sometimes I feel that summer is bad for you if you are stressed or prone to stress. Especially, the summer in tropical areas. It is a killer, man!
I was wondering what a person with anxiety or depression should eat. What we crave is different, offcourse. Sometimes I magine to be Richie Rich and own a whole Chocolate Factory where Willy Wonka copy the most delicious chocolates. I also own the Lays’s Factory and Pizza Hut. Yum yum! Well, coming back to the reality. What we ‘should’ eat to reduce anxiety, stress and depression. I carried out a small research on the internet and here is the list of happy foods that you should eat:
Banana: There must be a solid reason behind Minions liking bananas.
Spinach: Think, why Popeye had to eat his spinach and how he always won Olive.
Tomatoes: umm I don’t know any prominent cartoon figure eating tomatoes, but I am sure the most happy people eat tomatoes. They are especially women’s friends.
Milk: umm… ok just do as I say and have a glass of milk daily.
Almond: My grandmother was an intelligent lady and believe me, she spend 40 years living with troublemaker sister-in-laws bur never complaint of a headache. Her secret was ‘eating almonds in the morning’. Also, almonds are good for eye-sight.
Oranges: Okay, try eating oranges next time when you feel down and notice the difference by yourself.
Oatmeal: Well, I have heard that there was a time when army soldiers ate oatmeal. Nowadays, life is like a warfare and for a anxiety-person every moment is like in a battle so have your oatmeal and be strong enough to fight.
Stress, worries and fears are inseparable part of life. I have practiced many methods to get rid of all such energy sucking emotions. Without going into the details of how’s and whats I am going to share with all the Struggling Souls, TBWs (Two Best Ways) to forget every negative feeling and go on with your life happily. I would be glad if someone share it. Although, this is my theory, but I would be glad to see it under someone else’s name. Just share it!. The whole point of my success lies in spreading this so the people who do not have discovered my blog yet benefit from this theory.
Here it goes; Two Best Ways Theory (TBW Theory)
An average day of a person can be divided into 2 parts according to the level of physical and mental activity in order to gain material or spiritaual or emotional benefits.
i. Higher Level Activity Part
ii. Lower Level Activity Part
i. Higher Level Activity Part
The HLAP (Higher Level Activity Part) comprises of the time when a person is at work or with his/her family. During HLAP a person can deal with stress by concentrating all his physical and mental effort on present.
This concentration can be achieved by doing the work you love, practicing a hobby. avoiding stressful jobs that you dont like and surrounding yourself with positive people.
ii. Lower Level Activity Part
The LLAP (Lower Level Activity Part) is the part of a day when a person is not very active physically or mentally for example when he/she comes back from work or when it is bedtime. During LLAP a person can deal with stress by giving God whatever is causing the burden. Ask God to hold it untill you are ready to take it back.
We had a party yesterday. You know, I and my shepherd friend. No need to mention the ‘surprise visit’.
Nowadays, my mind is revolving around some specific human behavior; abuse. This is making me look like I am sick. And no doubt the memories and a lot that is going on right now, has make me sick, Headache is my fellow now. Well, he noticed and through his remarkable knowledge of reading faces (I think, he can read minds), he start telling me his life experiences. He also had abusive people in his life. On the contrary, I always believed that he has had a very peaceful life. He told me a lot about those people and how he lived in between them. Long story short. He told me, “Do not bring them everywhere you go.”
“I have left them.”
“Don’t carry them in your hearts then. Otherwise, you will ruin your present, your future. Lets party!”
Our party is not like others, you know. We eat very strange but delicious food. We talk a lot. Most of the time I am listening.
I am not a good writer, but even if I were Shakespeare I could not write the exact feelings that I experience during our small 2 person conferences.
Emotional abuse, verbal abuse and just what not? Ever encountered those toxic people? If not everyone, many of us have such people in their lives. I have written as a guide to those who have such toxics in their families.
Talking about the person who is under burden; the victim. What should a victim do? Plan? Isn’t it the only way out when it comes to abuse? I have seen people planning to save them from such toxics. Researching, talking, taking advices regarding their problem. But what I have understood; excessive planning itself is a symptom of being dangerously abused. We plan each and every step to make us secure. This make us sleepless, restless, and prone to catch allergies and many other physical and psychological diseases. So, what should be done?
There is only one piece of advice that fits in this situation. Plan only once and stick with it.
No doubt, prevention is better than cure and these people are no less than a lethal disease, but there is no use of planning again and again, researching and talking about it each day. Thus, you would be living that abuse even when the abuser would be sleeping in his cozy bed.
So, make a plan and stick with it. Have a blessed life!
We all at some point in time come across some toxic people. The harm these people cause is unbearable most of the times and cutting off all the ties is no doubt, the perfect solution. But what about toxic family members? We live with them. We have shared a huge part of life with them. Siblings, spouse or a parent, you cannot simply push them out of your life. What should be done if you are a victim of such a poisonous relationship?
Here we will discuss some very important and powerful tactics and strategies regarding this situation.
The best solution is cutting of all ties. Yes, even if they are family members, they are toxic. No one has a right to control you, irritate you and make your life a living hell. But a fact is ; not everyone can afford a separate accommodation, So, what can be done if you have to live under the same roof.
1. Do not argue with them. Arguments make them feel that they are getting power over you.
2. My mother used to tell me that she never cried in front of my father. Later, I read it somewhere that the victim of such people should never show any weakness in front of them and most importantly they should not cry as it symbolizes weakness. They want to crush you down. Don’t make them think that they have achieved what they wanted.
3. For your own betterment and peace of mind you should forgive them but do not trust them again. Know, they are not your well-wishers. Do not hope or ask them for any emotional support. They will come out to be emotional abusers.
4. Practice meditation. Exercise and take care of your health. Such tension within a family cause so much harm to your mental peace and ultimately to your physical health.
5. You can control your reactions to what they are doing but you cannot control them. Such people love to annoy their victim by every means they love to harm. They love to spread rumors and discussing your personal life with others revealing your secrets. Being your family, they have advantage of knowing about your life the most. In such situations what should you do? The answer is ‘nothing’. You cannot take revenge by doing the same to them. You cannot go to everyone and clarify things. Just stay quiet and go on with your life. If someone tells you something they are saying to people, stay calm and act mature.
6. You cannot live separately. You are not financially strong enough to live in another house or something. You cannot just change your city or country. The best you can do here is to minimize the contact. How? Do not eat together with them. Do not watch TV with them. Do not go out with them. In short, act as if they are not living with you.
7. Engage in yourself. Make yourself happy. Go shopping, go fishing, go riding; do whatever you love to do.
8. Do not put off what you wanted to do with your life. Make your decisions fearlessly,
9. A very powerful tool that these negative people use is ‘guilt’. They make you feel guilty about things. For example, your sibling can trap you in situations where it appears to you that you are mean or selfish. Your abusive parent can make you think that you are the disrespectful or disobedient brat so you deserve such a reaction from them. Don’t fall into this trap. Tell yourself that you have not done anything bad. No one has the right to control you and make you feel guilty or bad about yourself. No one has the right to de-value your self-worth or hurt your self esteem.
We are more than 7 billion people on earth, with more than 7 billion different life stories. Don’t waste your time mourning over the bad behavior of one person. Go on with your life. Stay blessed.
Not-a-Blogger: Why do you blog?
Blogger: I blog because it helps me heal.
Not-a-Blogger: Heal? From what?
Blogger: From depression.
Not-a-Blogger: So what do you write about?
Blogger: How to deal with depression.
Children laugh about 300 times a day! Whao! thats really tooo mch! Adults, on average, laugh about 15 times a day. I think this second part of this research made the whole research report wrong. I know people who laugh about…actually I know people who just do not laugh exactly, but once in a blue moon.
What a lively laugh exactly is? It is positive energy encanned in the body and also comming out of it. It comes of the body like ripples or rays that emits equally from the body like sun rays. It is symbol of happiness.[ (What about the evil laughs then?) Well, I am really thinking of what I have written into the paranthesis. Is an evil laugh really a symbol of happiness? No, evil laugh is a symbol of pain like cry. It is a cry in pain too egoistic to accept the victimization of intense pain. I do not know such evil people except Megamind. Yes, the one with that huge blue head. 😀 Well. back to the serious thought.]
We cannot control that circumstances in our lives that cause happiness or sadness, but we can control our body responces. By stimulating our body in way that triggers the production of happiness chemicals we can feel happiness despite of whatever the circumstances are. Researches have shown that only by holding your face in wide smiling manner reduces stress. If you know how to enjoy small moments in life and you laugh a lot then there is a good news for you. Your heart related diseases rate is lower than all the frowned faces around you! Cheers to you! If you suffer from heartache or any other stress related pain then you should probably practice laughter. Laughter therapy is done by forcing fake laughs that help your body system to release happy chemicals and thus, you start feeling lighter and happy.
Today I met the old shepherd who comes here often. He has seen many shades of life. I ask a lot of questions and he likes sharing his views; a listener and a speaker; our small conference gets along very well. His white hairs and wrinkles are the only two evidences of his old age. His health seems quite miraculous for the age of 85. He sits under a tree next to my farm fence and writes in his journal, keeping an eye on his herd meanwhile. Sometimes, when we talk, he scribbles something quickly in the journal and start talking again.
Today I asked him about vices that people have. And here is how it went.
“Sam is a big time chocoholic, you know?” I was in the gossip mood and he turned it into a fruitful conversation.
“So, you want me to shed some light on chocolate benefits?” he said smiling.
“No, I was just seeing my blog’s reader today and there was a post about vices”
“Vice; when I think of this word no one else comes to my mind,” he said. His vision was set on something far in the sky. “I asks to myself. Am I vice-free? Am I able to touch the skies of wisdom yet? No. No one is vice free. And I am not an exception. What are some of the biggest evils could be? What do you think? Smoking? Having a sweet tooth? Maybe. But what about the invisible evils that go unnoticed?”
It was a rhetorical question, I knew. He talks in a strange tone sometimes.
He goes on, “Bad habits that kill body should be avoided. I agree. But there are some that are lethal to souls. Having no faith in God. Doesn’t it kill soul? And what do you think about depression and anxiety etc.? There are more than a few people that I know, actually suffers from disbelief and lack of faith. And this weakness of soul translates itself in the language of body as depression and anxiety. I, myself had this problem. Someone took me to a psychiatrist and his medicines made the situation even worse. Ever heard the term ‘side effects’?”, he sighs, takes a sip of water and goes on, ” It was not a very tough time in my life, but somehow I started to believe things that did not existed the first place. I couldn’t walk properly; I had breathing problems; I had illusions; I was convinced that I would lose my wife as I had lost my father; there was a long list of my odd and unrealistic set of believes. And I was miserable.
One day God blessings came to me and I prayed. Do you know when we pray it is actually a blessing of God? It is.
I prayed. I was getting tired of my illness. I asked help and help arrived. I met a bearded old shepherd. And we became friends. One day he told me about faith. I shared with him my fear about losing my wife and he laughed.
“Do you run the world business?” , he asked jokingly.
I was really offended, but he asked again and that time he was serious.
“Do you run the world business?”
“No, I am not God.” I somehow managed to smiled,
“You have the answer of all your problems now. You are not God. It is not your business to take or give life. You belonged to God. Everything belonged to Him. He is the one who grows grass and crops; He is the one who feeds people and animals. He makes it rain. He changes weather. Do you know all this?”
“Yes, I do”
“Then why don’t you believe in God?”
“I believe that there is God who runs the world.”
“Oh you are just saying!”
“I am your friend. Why are you telling lie?”, he was ready to leave.
“I am not lying!”, I protested.
“Then why are you worrying so much?” He smiled and left.
And that was the time when I questioned myself. I had the answer.
So, the biggest vice and the hardest to deal with lies in your own self. You are the only one who can fix it. Seek and you shall find.”