I never do this kind of search (to be frank I just did once when this blog was new).
I typed in google ‘Black Grey and White wordpress blog’ and it was the fourth result on first page!
I do not know if it is something to be so joyous about but I am.
When I googled only the words ‘Black Grey and White’, this blog was on third page-fourth result. Now, it makes sense!
Nearly all the people in their lives spend some very best days. Whenever a bonus is given, a trophy is won, he or she says ‘yes’, that day becomes one of the best days in someone’s life. Despite of all the sorrows and disappointments, no one can claim that he has never experienced a truly happy day of his life. But the matter of our concern, today, is ‘why the happiness disappears and sadness or boredom takes its place?’
When we closely observe we can see a cycle of positive and negative emotions taking turns in lives. When we experience happiness we feel like we are the luckiest on earth and when some bad luck strikes we cry or lose any hope of getting back to normal. The question is; Why does this happen?
To understand this we should first understand two concepts.
1. Happiness gained by acomplishment of wordly desires.
2. Happiness gained by closeness to God and understanding the forces working behind all the happenings.
The happiness that we feel when we achieved something great, or when we spend a good time with our loved ones is always temporary. That is why I do not call it happiness. Instead, it is a trance of happiness. And when this trance breaks we become bored or in most terrible cases we become sad as the state we were in or we were afraid to go in comes back.
What is real happiness? Real happiness is experienced by those whose heart is not stuck into the quagmire of world and who understand that the true happiness and sense of accomplshment does not depent on money or other people. It does not even depend on the person you think your world revolves around. Now, this is something else; an entirly different concept of happiness from the one that we know. The essence of this true happiness is that it is never-lasting. It does not break like a trance. It becomes the shield that protects you from sudden disappoinments and going back into the state you hate to go in.
While many of us are stuck in this cyle and some are struggling to break it, there are people who have broken it and have achieved true sence of happiness and contenment. You think you have never seen such really happy people? You have met many. Do not think about the rich, successful, beautiful or famous that others kind of pray. Think about eyes. Have you seen someone with bright eyes (even behinde spectacles) that seemed to emit an invisible light that enlightened your soul even for a very brief moment. If yes, then you have seen a truly happy person. No matter if he was rich or poor, white or black a famous person or a introvert neighbour.
How to achieve this position in life when your soul does not get plagued with the negativity around you? It is a topic I am still researching on. Your input will be more than welcomed!
It may not be a perfect start for a blog post; because ultimately we all want audience. Many of the times I do care, but sometimes I do not care about what people think and who would read my writings. Well, I woke up yesterday but couldn’t find the time to write anything. I was feeling like I had not been writing for many days. It was just a few minutes ago that I checked my last post date. I wrote my last post on 3rd April and today is 8th; only 4 days in between. But for me it was a long time. Why I did not write? I did not have anything to write.
But, yesterday, something strange happened. Have you ever experience ‘wandering’? Strolling with nothing on your mind; just walking and observing surroundings. And I am not talking about rambling with your dog on walkways surrounded by green fields. I am talking about going to small roadside bazars, watching people arguing when bargaining over a few pennies. There, shopping choices are apparently many but possibilities are limited. I am talking about a walk on small lanes and along unfinished road tracks, dusty and muddy.
I went on such a walk yesterday. Alone. Not with my friend this time. So, you may anticipate what a women walking alone in such areas could experience; scorching hungry dirty gazes, evil grins. But it was not the center of my attention. I just kept moving ahead. I was feeling something else; a connection that was binding me with all the surroundings. The energy that was so engaging that I did not had even a millionth of a moment to pay attention to all the negativity. I was alone, but I was feeling the traces of the shepherd’s personality even here! Everywhere! In such a place that was just opposite to the mere glimpse of him. I remember him once saying, ” Want to experience the purity? Look into a dirty pool where that flower blooms.”
A maybe 12 year old buying cheap dresses with her mother and father. I felt the innocence in her eyes that sparkled when the shopkeeper showed her something colorful.
I literally took a deep breath when there was dust everywhere and an uncovered sewerage line. Gross? Yeah, call me crazy. I wanted to feel the connection more deeply. There were houses there. People live there. They breathe. There were plants, grass and flowers along that dirty water way. Those remind me of the shepherd. The eyes of toddlers, their smiles, their cute moves, everything symbolized his speech. I noticed a wall with very beautiful hand painted pictures. There was some artist nearby.
An old man was selling fruit in front of a huge shopping mall keeping an eye on a 5,6 year old kid who probably was his grandson. The kid was sitting on the stairs of the mall writing in his small copy without noticing other kids of his age in the mall enjoying, buying expensive fun stuff and new clothes with their parents. The kid was seemed contented with his cheap looking but clean dress….
(to be cont.)
So, I was here on WordPress and typing my “intellectual posts” and in my mind I had become a widely known writer after typing a few lines. Suddenly, he came. Yes, yes, my shepherd friend.
I had typed this so far. Have you ever wonder we ask a lot and don’t thank that much? We cannot go a few minutes without God’s blessing (think about oxygen in the air).
He added, “We are designed to depend on Him.”
“You!”, I was astonished. “Where you come from all of a sudden?” My eyes could easily break that lady’s eye popping world record.
“I was passing by and saw you writing.” he replied.
“Okay. Well, now I should ask you how we can thank God. I understand what you said; we are designed to depend on Him.”
“It is simple.” Yes, for you. How can he be always right? I thought.
He smiled and I could not look into his eyes. He was a mind reader. I had forgot.
“Say ‘Thank you, God’, he continued, ” and feel the thankfulness and his love.”
“I want to do more.” I said
“Well, you cannot pay thanks equal to his favors for you. He is your creator.”
“I know. But I want to thank Him and be one in those who he considered Thankful.” I was serious.
“Okay then I have an advice for you. Thank him whenever you feel that you should be thankful. Just say, ‘Thank you God’ with all your heart. And help others. You don’t know how much He loves you and His other creatures. If you will help His creatures He will be very happy with you. He loves you thousands times more than your mother. And you know how a women feels when someone helps her child.”
We had a party yesterday. You know, I and my shepherd friend. No need to mention the ‘surprise visit’.
Nowadays, my mind is revolving around some specific human behavior; abuse. This is making me look like I am sick. And no doubt the memories and a lot that is going on right now, has make me sick, Headache is my fellow now. Well, he noticed and through his remarkable knowledge of reading faces (I think, he can read minds), he start telling me his life experiences. He also had abusive people in his life. On the contrary, I always believed that he has had a very peaceful life. He told me a lot about those people and how he lived in between them. Long story short. He told me, “Do not bring them everywhere you go.”
“I have left them.”
“Don’t carry them in your hearts then. Otherwise, you will ruin your present, your future. Lets party!”
Our party is not like others, you know. We eat very strange but delicious food. We talk a lot. Most of the time I am listening.
I am not a good writer, but even if I were Shakespeare I could not write the exact feelings that I experience during our small 2 person conferences.
It had been so long. My shepherd friend did not visit me. Weather was not good here. But today he came. He bought freshly baked cookies. You know how much I love chocolate chip cookies! To tell you the truth, they make me feel like I am having royal breakfast. Well, as my shepherd friend is the greatest chef I have ever met, I loved the cookies he brought today.
“Where were you?” I asked.
“Well, I am coming here daily nowadays. You seem busy in something.”
“Busy? Me? No. I am just doing the routine things. I did not know when you came. Are you coming daily? Really?”
“You were busy. You did not even notice me. I come daily here.”
“I am sorry.”
“Don’t be. We are friends.” he said. “Lets thank God for everything”.
“What? Is it some kind of activity or ritual…” I couldn’t complete the sentence. I saw lights showering all over my farm and the meadows, illuminating everything. I just fell down on my knees and thank God. For what? I cannot enlist everything, every blessing. I thanked God and felt like the thankfulness is the light coming from some unknown resource and filling up in my heart. My heart felt like a glowing bulb emitting light and I fell asleep.
I am typing this now. It is difficult to open eyes and avoid typos. My friend is still here with me. My heart is still glowing. My friend seems someone out of this world. It seems like it is difficult to understand him. He said that he was coming here daily. When? I don’t know. I was waiting for him. He never tell lies. I know he was coming here if he is saying so, but why I did not notice although I was waiting for him? I don’t have the answer yet.
“I cannot believe I turned 30.”
“40! You are now old, man!”
“Wrinkles! I will look creepy in the years to come!”
“My dad had a heartache. He had a huge business loss.”
“She wants divorce.”
“You do not love me anymore.”
“I am here in old age home and my daughter in law has snatched my son from me.”
“Sigh! Those golden old days! I remember when I was…..”
We have heard all the above and a lot more complains. We don’t like changes, but everything is prone to change. We need sunshine to ripe our crops, but if the sun shines all the time the crop will get withered. Days transform into nights. Seasons change. Time passes. We cannot be young for as long as we live as we cannot be a toddler for all our lives. Once we lived in caves now we build houses. Once we were dependent on our parents for survival, but now we do not ask them to feed us. Imagine a 12 year old still crawling because he does not want to change. Imagine your old KG friend still stealing your lunch. Imagine your are still after your first crush.
Everything changes, everyone changes. In most cases, we accept those changes. And when we accept we transform ourselves and get comfortable with the new state. The problem begins when we refuse to accept. The lack or absence of acceptance causes discomfort and distress.
How can we accept the changes?
We can train our mind to accept changes. It is simple. But it takes time. Follow these steps and see results.
1. Act as if you have accepted. Try to control your mind, do not let your mind control you.
2. Stop whining.
3. Do what you enjoy the most.
4. Keep yourself busy.
5 Talk to yourself. Obviously, you do not want to do this in front of everyone. Sit in front of a mirror and tell yourself that everything is fine. You are still beautiful. You are emotionally independent. You are capable to accept the changes. You are capable to move on. You are strong. Say whatever lifts your spirit, but do not ‘console’.
6.Be patient and pray.
Try the above exercise and you will be surprised to see a whole new ‘You’.
Embrace the changes!
My shepherd friend is so generous. He never hesitates to share his knowledge. His words are chests of treasure. When he speaks all else seems to be quiet. It seems like even the wind stops here to listen to him.
Today we are sitting in our respective places like always; he is sitting under the tree and I am sitting by the fence of my farm. Weather is partially cloudy and we are eating my home baked cookies with coffee. He has brought something to eat like always. I do not know the name, but these are delicious; small round buns with delicious filling.
“Do you know there are signals around here that your laptop catches and connects to the internet as you call it?”, he says sipping his coffee and looking somewhere in the sky.
“Yes, I know. Can you see those signals?” I followed his vision with a curious dumb look on my face.
“No.”, he laughs, ” I cannot. I am not some super-human.”
I smile; it is all I could do when he laughs at me, but his laughter does not have offending tone. We enjoy each other’s company.
“Why do you think my book does not catch those signals?” , he asks.
“Because it is a book. It is not a machine or something. ” I say. He never ask foolish questions.
“Is that a machine?” He takes out his small radio from his bag.
“Yes. It is.”
“It cannot connect to the internet. It is even unable to catch the video of the songs, that I listen”.
“It is because it was not being designed to do so. It plays sound, not pictures.”
“It just catches another type of signals. Right?”
“It is because it was designed so. Isn’t it?”
“You know we are machines. We humans, are machines. We have many signals kinds of signals around us. Grief, despair, hope, sorrow, happiness, power, helplessness etc. We catch all of them. We should process the ones that benefit us. And delete the rest.”
“So there must be some anti-virus software programs for humans too,” I says jokingly.
“Yes, there is. It is called prayer. Pray in order to get help from the One who created you. From all the signals receive and cherish those which are positive. Remember, these signals are everywhere, pick the good ones all the time wherever you go, whatever you do. Smile, be thankful and build an ARK. Watch Evan Almighty, if you want to know what ark truly is?”
I smile. I have watched the movie, but I do not have to build an ark like Noah’s ark. I just have to practice A Random act of Kindness.