struggle

Breakthrough


I tried, I tried to encapsulate my soul. To put it all in a chest and burry somewhere far..far away where any eye could not reach it. But it rose again in my heart as it was buried there not anywhere else. It was I who was running away from my own self.

What the hell I was thinking when I gave myself away to the tornadoes? Why did I not take my own responsibility? Why I jumped off the cliff?

But now, when the wild wind has thrown me on the stony mountains, my head has struck to a rock and I am bleeding. I have become fierce. I am ready to kick the world’s ass! And as I am already out. I am free.

Inspired by: http://iithinks.wordpress.com/2014/08/14/songs/

The Training


You all know my Shepherd friend. It is his day again. He did not come today, but contacted me. He sent me a message and he is calling me. I have to wait, though, for the right time. Meanwhile, I have only one thing to do. Pray; pray for the time to come. And I am sure my Shepherd will visit me someday and surprise me again. How he loves to surprise others! I sometimes wants to ask him, why! Why you do not come when I need you the most? But when he visits I forget to ask such things, I forget to complain. And when he comes he never ask questions. He never ask why I did not call or where were I etc. He embrace me with the same love and care. We talk. We laugh. And things become so much clear. But the time when I am waiting; it is tough, friends, very tough. And to be honest, it is one of the biggest course in training. What training? Let me tell you this. He told me about this training, one day.
The story starts time immemorial. When we were with Him. We were so cool! Believe me on this! We had a great connection with God and everything was just perfect. One day God made a plan to introduce us with some change and see who becomes righteous again. ( He already knew who amongst us would fail and who would come back to him, but He is God so we cannot ask him any ‘Whys’). Well, when we come down the spiral (you know what I mean) we become impatient, selfish, arrogant and material-lover. This behavior brought with it pain and suffering, and we assuming ourselves ‘smartypants’ we start searching for peace and fun in shopping, expensive gadgets, cars, luxurious houses, and other people. There is no need to share how this ‘remarkable plan’ turned out. Clearly, God has his own plans and his own timings. So, if we think, we will see a pattern here. A pattern of harship and ease, problems and solutions. So you see, it is actually a training program; the training we need to re-gain our connection with God. . It has uncountable courses and it is always customized for each and every individual because we are different and have different lives. That is why, practically, we cannot compile it into a single prospectus/brochure.
Waiting is the part of this training. It teaches us patience. We cry at nights and during the days, we hide our confusions and disappoinrments behinde fake smiles. Some of us don’t bother pretending to be happy, though. But, accept it with a smile or a frown; we all have to wait in our lives at some point. The wait is integral part of the spiritual grooming. It teaches you patience and patience is important. God does not want us to be reckless. He wants us to be rational and calm. It is tough for us, though. One time you gather all your courage and the other time it shattered like glass hit with stones. For this purpose ‘trials’ were made. Trials wash our souls. They are neccesay in this world. This is how it works. If there were no trials, no turmoils, nothing hurtful then what would be the difference in Paradise and this world. During the tough training time when a soul in being washed with the detergent of trials and trumoils, its world spin so fast that nothing looks clear. This is the time when he turns the ‘washing machine’ off as the soul become clear and ultimately everything around. The ease come and we come out of the washing machine clean and shiny. *teeth sparkle*

Real Life Example Of How Writing Helps


I am glad to share my personal experience with all my existing and potential readers. I have been writing for a few years but never thought of building a blog. I used to write what some clients wants me to write about (freelance writer, I was) in exchange of a few bucks only. As a result, I ended up having a few dollars and lot of ideas bottled up. Suppressing the ideas forced them to lost somewhere in the lanes of my mind. Some were so powerful that they came out as novels, but thanks to my personal circumstances I have three unfinished novels now.
Well, one day I decided to build a blog. I did. The ‘About’ page I had that time was so lame that even I never looked back after typing that. After a few days I came up with these few lines (https://baadseher.wordpress.com/about/) and I was happy.
” If you are looking for some motivation, some humor, some touching stories, or anything to lift your spirits up or make you think deeply for a while, you are at the right place on web.

This is coming from an ordinary mind, but you may sometimes find it extra-ordinary. “

And now after few months I was able to write “About Author” https://baadseher.wordpress.com/about-author
“A soul with broken wings falling from the sky, slipping down a spiral, struggling to rise and searching for light.
It has only one desire; to elevate from the darkness and go into the lights. It is holding tight on the desire and climbing up with its shoots.
Thunder bolts make the soul fall again and again, but the light they bring makes it easy to see. The soul share this light and help other souls to come up.
A buried faith is coming to life; soon the soul will enter into the lights and share the rays to those struggling down the spiral. “

For someone who are very good at writing this could seem something ordinary. But, I am sure there are many like me, who are struggling between different phases of life. Only those can relate and feel what I mean to say.

Village News: The Mind Reader


We had a party yesterday. You know, I and my shepherd friend. No need to mention the ‘surprise visit’.
Nowadays, my mind is revolving around some specific human behavior; abuse. This is making me look like I am sick. And no doubt the memories and a lot that is going on right now, has make me sick, Headache is my fellow now. Well, he noticed and through his remarkable knowledge of reading faces (I think, he can read minds), he start telling me his life experiences. He also had abusive people in his life. On the contrary, I always believed that he has had a very peaceful life. He told me a lot about those people and how he lived in between them. Long story short. He told me, “Do not bring them everywhere you go.”
“I have left them.”
“Don’t carry them in your hearts then. Otherwise, you will ruin your present, your future. Lets party!”
Our party is not like others, you know. We eat very strange but delicious food. We talk a lot. Most of the time I am listening.
I am not a good writer, but even if I were Shakespeare I could not write the exact feelings that I experience during our small 2 person conferences.

A Victim’s Plan


Emotional abuse, verbal abuse and just what not? Ever encountered those toxic people? If not everyone, many of us have such people in their lives. I have written as a guide to those who have such toxics in their families.
Talking about the person who is under burden; the victim. What should a victim do? Plan? Isn’t it the only way out when it comes to abuse? I have seen people planning to save them from such toxics. Researching, talking, taking advices regarding their problem. But what I have understood; excessive planning itself is a symptom of being dangerously abused. We plan each and every step to make us secure. This make us sleepless, restless, and prone to catch allergies and many other physical and psychological diseases. So, what should be done?
There is only one piece of advice that fits in this situation.
Plan only once and stick with it.
No doubt, prevention is better than cure and these people are no less than a lethal disease, but there is no use of planning again and again, researching and talking about it each day. Thus, you would be living that abuse even when the abuser would be sleeping in his cozy bed.
So, make a plan and stick with it. Have a blessed life!

You Get Bored Because You Don’t Know How to Run.


It is morning. People are jogging, doing fitness exercises etc. in a public park. An old man and a women is standing near the entrance of the park. The women looks like she is in her mid 30’s, dressed in a long pink dress. The old man is in his track suit, he is about 70, but looks active.
“You do not come nowadays?” The old man asked.
“Yes, I am bored of this jogging and running etc.” the women replied.
“You get bored because you don’t know how to run.”
The women looks startled for a moment, but the emotion does not go unnoticed.
“You come here daily, I know. We never talked though… Actually I am taking rest. Its kinds time out”, she smiles. “I am in middle of something”.
“You are taking time out of life?” The old man asked.
“Yes, kinda”
“You are bored of life?” The old man raised his eyebrows in astonishment.
She keeps silence.
“Do you know why we get bored or tired of life? It is because we do not know how to live. I do not know what you are going through, my child. But I do know one thing. We all at a point in time come to a phase when we get tired of life. We stop. We stop doing and start waiting; waiting for the good time to come. We forget one thing. Good time doesn’t come by itself. It is we, ourselves that make the time good. Do you know nothing in this world is truly smooth? If it were, we would not be able to see that. The beauty of life lies in contrast of colors, friction, ups and downs, light and dark, black and white.” The old man voice seems to coming out directly from his soul.
“I respect you and your words are making me feel good, but as soon as we will take our paths, I will be overcome by the same situation that I am going through. This shall pass.”
The old man smiles,” You are going through a tough time. But as you said, “This shall pass.” The old man check his show lases and start to jog.
“I will see you tomorrow on the jogging track!” He leaves and wave good-bye.
The women was standing there. Speechless. Watching the old man go and meeting some park-fellow, laughing and running.
A couple passes by.
“There is Mr.James!”, the man pointed towards the old man, “who can say he is suffering from cancer! What a lively man!”

Miracle


The champions are,
The ones who strive,
They starve,
Struggle to be alive,
They keep their heads up,
They recognize,
The miracle called life.